Part II: Children of Disney

My friends, my wonderful people: I dislike children. They are loud(er than me, I don't like that), they cry, need someone to help them in the bathroom, and somehow they are always sticky. I am sure one day I will think ''wow! kids are dandy!'' but right now they are not awesome. If your husband, wife, lover, or significant other starts getting baby eyes, TAKE THEM TO DISNEY WORLD! They will never want them again, they will want to be "fixed". The stories I am about to tell you will be great birth control for you.

The Chub Nugget Princess

While in EPCOT, Rachael had to go to the bathroom. While she was washing her hands, this little girl maybe 6 years was dancing around her then slapped her in the face. IN.THE.FACE. The girl then just kept dancing and the mom just laughed about it. There was no apology. Just a chub nugget, a cracked out mom and a pissed off Rachael.

The Screaming Chub Nugget

My mom, and I were sitting a bench and while people watching we saw a great sight. A child that got out of his leash(Literally) and started running down the street SCREAMING and waving his arms in the air! Mom and dad chased him down and caught him, kinda. They first had to pull him off the light post. I was amused, but his parents looked quite embarrassed. That's what you get for having kids: embarrassment.

Three Amigos

Kyle and I got to have some time alone, so we went on the Mexico ride in EPCOT (it's were the young couples go). This family of 5 (2 parents, 3 kids under 6) were standing in line. The littlest Amigo just learning how to walk got away from mom and ran up through the line which was about 30 feet long. Dad barreled up the line taking people out to get his littlest amigo. The oldest amigo was a girl who looked like theoldest girl from "Despicable Me" and was actually pretty good, but she kept wanting to tell her mom a story. "mom mom mom mom mom hey hey hey did you hear about ummm Josie hheeeeeyyyyy mooooommmmmmmmmm." HEY LADY ANSWER YOUR KID! She won't stop until you answer. I was really annoyed by the parents and how they acted. The middle amigo was the worst of them all. He was a little boy about 3 or 4 who was scared of the Mexican ride. It featured Donald Duck and 2 other spanish ducks who were singing, not scary. The boy screamed and fought his parents to the point that the elderly couple behind us on the ride wanted to know if it was okay to throw someone overboard. The child finally calmed down. At the end of the ride though the child started to get upset again BECAUSE he had to get off the ride and he wanted to see Donald again. They will never be happy.

I know I know. I only have 3 really good stories to post. The other ones were just sad and upsetting. A lot of screaming and crying children in their strollers. I didn't want to put you through it. And yes, there were some good nice kids who were polite but you had to be looking for them. Rach's future child ( the weird looking ginger nugget) looked like a nice boy, kinda.

Okay, I hope you will take my advise. Go to Disney and if you are still thinking about kids, then go for it. But I am warning you, if your kids are bad in front of me I WILL tease them and probably blog about them.