Part II: Children of Disney

My friends, my wonderful people: I dislike children. They are loud(er than me, I don't like that), they cry, need someone to help them in the bathroom, and somehow they are always sticky. I am sure one day I will think ''wow! kids are dandy!'' but right now they are not awesome. If your husband, wife, lover, or significant other starts getting baby eyes, TAKE THEM TO DISNEY WORLD! They will never want them again, they will want to be "fixed". The stories I am about to tell you will be great birth control for you.

The Chub Nugget Princess

While in EPCOT, Rachael had to go to the bathroom. While she was washing her hands, this little girl maybe 6 years was dancing around her then slapped her in the face. IN.THE.FACE. The girl then just kept dancing and the mom just laughed about it. There was no apology. Just a chub nugget, a cracked out mom and a pissed off Rachael.

The Screaming Chub Nugget

My mom, and I were sitting a bench and while people watching we saw a great sight. A child that got out of his leash(Literally) and started running down the street SCREAMING and waving his arms in the air! Mom and dad chased him down and caught him, kinda. They first had to pull him off the light post. I was amused, but his parents looked quite embarrassed. That's what you get for having kids: embarrassment.

Three Amigos

Kyle and I got to have some time alone, so we went on the Mexico ride in EPCOT (it's were the young couples go). This family of 5 (2 parents, 3 kids under 6) were standing in line. The littlest Amigo just learning how to walk got away from mom and ran up through the line which was about 30 feet long. Dad barreled up the line taking people out to get his littlest amigo. The oldest amigo was a girl who looked like theoldest girl from "Despicable Me" and was actually pretty good, but she kept wanting to tell her mom a story. "mom mom mom mom mom hey hey hey did you hear about ummm Josie hheeeeeyyyyy mooooommmmmmmmmm." HEY LADY ANSWER YOUR KID! She won't stop until you answer. I was really annoyed by the parents and how they acted. The middle amigo was the worst of them all. He was a little boy about 3 or 4 who was scared of the Mexican ride. It featured Donald Duck and 2 other spanish ducks who were singing, not scary. The boy screamed and fought his parents to the point that the elderly couple behind us on the ride wanted to know if it was okay to throw someone overboard. The child finally calmed down. At the end of the ride though the child started to get upset again BECAUSE he had to get off the ride and he wanted to see Donald again. They will never be happy.

I know I know. I only have 3 really good stories to post. The other ones were just sad and upsetting. A lot of screaming and crying children in their strollers. I didn't want to put you through it. And yes, there were some good nice kids who were polite but you had to be looking for them. Rach's future child ( the weird looking ginger nugget) looked like a nice boy, kinda.

Okay, I hope you will take my advise. Go to Disney and if you are still thinking about kids, then go for it. But I am warning you, if your kids are bad in front of me I WILL tease them and probably blog about them.

The Family Vacation

Kyle and I just got back from vacation to Florida & Disney World.

Vacation Roster:

My family is awesome. There is no doubt about it. If anyone knows my family, stop and think about them. Think about a time you have talked to them. Are you smiling, shaking your head, or even laughing? This is the normal reaction, because we are all special.

Sharon: Grandma

Jim: Grandpa

Cathi: Mom

Paul: Dad

Rachael: Sister

Scottie: Brother-in-Law

Kyle: Husband

Amanda: Me

Part I: Quotes from the trip

Everyone shut their brain off on this trip. So. Rach and I decided to capture these quotes. More might come once Rach reads this and reminds me of more. (hint, hint)

" That Hulk Hogan, I would lick his windows." - Rachael after realizing she could live next to the Hulk. He lived very close to my grandparents.

"These seagulls don't know it but they are taunting me." - Scottie is a hunter and I have decided Scott only hunts out of hatred for all birds.

Do you know you are making yourself look like a fool right now? - 10 yr. old girl in Target talking to another 10 yr. old who was looking at products from Great Britain.

"Ooo, just walked out of the bitch hole."- Me. I am not sure what the bitch hole was but it was probably good we walked out of it.

"You are lucky there are people around, or you would have gotten it."- A mom to a little boy that just caused a domino effect of the line barriers helping people line up for the Hall of Presidents. It was so sad because before even looking at his mom he picked them all up and was stared down by the old cast member lady dressed up like she was from 1776. She didn't help this boy, neither did I. I did the " hahaha, awwwww" I laughed but felt bad. Poor kid.

"When Rach has kids, let's call them ginger nuggets! Why? Because they will be adorable and redheaded." - Me. It only makes sense that Rachael and Scott's kids are going to be cute and I pray every night for them to have gingers. It would make me truly happy.**

"Rach, look! There goes your future Ginger Nuggets." - Me. This is about these to ginger children walking through EPCOT. The first ginger kid was a 7 yr. old boy that was very skinny, pale and wearing 2 different shades of blues. He was very awkward and walked like he had a huge stick up his butt. The second ginger boy was a pudge muffin, walking like his legs couldn't bend or touch. I believe at the time his belly was hanging out of the bottom of his shirt and he was picking his nose. Rach was very upset and kept saying there are such things as pretty and normal gingers.**

"I am going to hide in a trash can." - Paul. He randomly made this comment at dinner. He later explained that he wanted to see how long it would take Disney to find him.

"Kyle stop budging in front of the ginger and other children. That is not very nice."- Kyle trying to budge in front of small children for a water slide.**

"The planes are sleeping." - Paul. We were on our way to the airport at 4:30 in the morning.

" Ooo look that man is wearing a hat." It was the end of the trip. That's all that can be said about this one.

Part II will come later. It will be about the children and Rascals. Preview: Rachael gets slapped by a child.

*Please don't take this seriously, I can see someone getting upset about Scott just hunting because he hates things. Don't be that person. It would be silly of you.

** I want to state that I have nothing against gingers. They are a fine people. They can be very pretty too. I know a bunch of pretty gingers, but let's be honest. It is a lot of fun to make fun of this rare breed of human. Gingers. Watch the South Park episode. You will laugh, even if you, yourself are a ginger. If you are offended, I once again say there are pretty gingers.